Tag Archives: lawnscaper from hell

My Mom Is Cooler Than Me…

7 May

Today was a rest day.  A rest day from running, that is.  Who Girl and I did Zumba at 7:30pm.  I made the mistake of wearing pants without a drawstring so I had to keep pulling my pants up to keep the poor woman behind me from seeing my unmentionables.  In the end, Sweat  = Success.

My husband’s a landscaper.  He did our yard really good a long time ago.  Now, while he’s landscaping everyone else’s yards, I find myself in charge of our yard.  I’m a horrible landscaper so our yard is out of control and sad looking.  (To be fair, he does a big project in our yard once of twice a year but I’m greedy and I exaggerate.)

Today’s project:  ATTACK BUSHES ON SIDE OF HOUSE.  Mick would not approve so I didn’t ask him first.

Whack! Whack! Whack!

Because I don’t have many tools (they keep disappearing — I think he steals them and hides them), I attacked the 4 bushes on the side of my house with a pair of pruners.  No mercy.  I wanted them to be gone.  By the time I was done wrestling with one mean bush, my back was killing me, I was covered in sweat, dirt and bugs (flying ants?).  My daughter, Who, wanted to help so she joined in the butchering too.  Even with gloves, we each got some nice blisters.

Mick came home to replace the lawnmower battery and noticed my mess and only asked, “Why?”.  Please!  Why does he have to always act so confused?!  I told him I was tired of those overgrown bushes.  He said, “whatever, as long as I don’t have to do anything”.  Most would say that’s rude but I typically come up with things for him to do.  I’m annoying.  He’s so busy and works 7 days a week.  The last thing he wants to do after working all day, is to have me greet him with a smile and a small request to do this or that.

Anywho, Who Girl and I cleaned up a small area on the West side of our house a lot (didn’t finish).  At one point, my intelligent daughter with a 3.74 college (Junior) GPA, decided she needed to do something different.  She jumped on the zero turn mower and mowed a bit.  I can’t remember the last time she’s mowed (years) but didn’t think I needed to review anything with her.  I wasn’t paying much attention to her until she pulled up beside where I was working with the discharge area of the mower aimed at me.  I was in rock bed so I freaked a little thinking about how my eye, teeth, brain would handle a rock being shot at it.  She threw her head back and laughed at the silliness of it all.  WTH!  I think she needs to drop out of school and learn some common sense from me.  Kidding, of course.  I’m lacking in that area too.

I was thinking of my how funny my mom was.  We daughters find her very entertaining.  She says some funny things sometimes.

One of my favorites was how she commented that getting pregnant at the young age of 17 saved her life.  Afterall, if she would have gone to college as planned, she would have done heavy drugs.  Oh my!   She explained further that she was always very experimental (Umm.. pregnant at 17.  I guess so).

LITTLE BULLSH*T fact — My mom has more Facebook friends than I do.  She’s cooler than me so that would explain why.

*****How the heck am I going to get Mick and his guys to rip the other 3 bushes (more like trees) out for me?  Maybe, just maybe….. I could hook my Explorer up to them and yank ’em out meeself?!  Brilliant!!