Archive | April, 2012

Willy Wonka Did Me Wrong….

24 Apr

I missed my much needed 19 miler on Saturday.  That’s what Hal said I was supposed to be doing for my marathon training.

Instead, because I was out of town at a soccer tournament, I ran on the treadmill on Saturday at the hotel a measly 7 miles.  It took a little over an hour but at least it was something.  No music.  No TV.  No one to talk to.  Super boring.

Before Saturday’s TM run, I hadn’t run outside since Wed the 18th.

The last few days have been mentally tough for me.  I was getting more and more depressed each day I wasn’t running outside.  I was full of excuses and they all sucked.

Finally, today I got out and ran 10.11 miles with an average mile/minute of 8:14.  It wasn’t easy to get today’s run in.  I procrastinated from 12:30 until 5:15pm.  It was really windy but the temp was 59 degrees.  Everything worked out.  I was quite comfortable once I got out there.

During my procrastination, I ate and slept.  I made a serious “wrong turn” but eating a rejected piece of candy that I gave Brucee back in January.  If he rejected it, I should have tossed it in the trash but instead I put in our handy-dandy candy bowl on top of the fridge.  It looked like licorice from the outside and but it didn’t taste like licorice at all.  I can’t explain the fruit punch flavored paste that oozed out of it.  It was really gross but I ate all of it.  It didn’t sit well at all.  Almost sabotaged my run.  Why did I eat it?  I can’t answer that.

SUBJECT CHANGE.  KEEP UP — My mom just purchased a new home.  The little old lady who lived there before passed away but before she did, she was able to pack away 700 Barbie dolls in the basement.  All in the original packaging.  Some of them were old.  HOLY FRICKIN’ BARBIES!!!

Astronaut Barbie, McDonald’s Barbie.  I really wanted to look through them out of morbid curiosity.  What the heck was that woman thinking?!  About a quarter of the basement floor was covered.  This picture doesn’t show all the girls…

PINTEREST I love PInterest.  I love to pin to Pinterest.  I spend too much of time on Pinterest.  Do you get me?

I found this shirt looking for something to pin….

Youth Yes I Wore This Shirt Yesterday t shirt funny shirt printed on our soft tees size S-3XL


It will be mine.


I’m Always Looking For A Deal….

21 Apr

It’s a beautiful day in Detroit.

It’s actually cold.  I picked a hotel close to the soccer fields.  It had a “superpool” but thank goodness Brucee doesn’t have time to swim because the damn pool’s closed.  I told the lady at the front desk, who made me wait for 10 minutes while she refused to put her caller on hold to check me in, that the reason I chose this hotel was for the pool.  I have a child so a pool is a must.  She said sorry, I booked through Expedia so her hands were tied and she couldn’t discount the room.


I didn’t want to find another hotel with a working pool (that we’d never use) so I sucked it up and handed her my credit card.

She must have located her conscience because she then offered us a 2nd night for free.  We’re not sleeping here Sunday night but at least we’ll have somewhere to go to freshen up tomorrow between Brucee’s games (noon and 5pm).

Got to the room and it’s not the best but it’ll do since we’re here for one night and it’s cheap ($90).  The jacuzzi’s not a bad size and you can open the doors around it so that Brucee can sit in the jacuzzi while watching TV.  This will surely relax is aching muscles later.

My ride here was similar to being drugged up on Speed.  I drank a huge SF Red Bull, large NF caramel Iced Latte, an energy pill and well, em….. it doesn’t matter.  What matters is we got here alive and I didn’t fall asleep.  I sang as loud as I could…

Don’t feel sorry for him.  He’s not a depressed as he looks.

He got even happier when he won his first game 5-2.

Our next game isn’t until 9:20pm.  We may meet up with friends later.  There’s lots to do around here but we’re just lying low in the room.  I brought workout clothes but, as usual, I just don’t feel like working out.

I think I fell off the “workout horse” again?!

Sore nipples

20 Apr

I picked up Brucee from school (age 14).  He said his right nipple hurt.  I asked if it was red and/or strange looking.


I asked if he rubbed it or if something strange happened that would make it sore.


Kiddingly, which I don’t think he knew I was kidding, I asked if it was leaking milk.


At home, I made him take his shirt off.  The right nipple looked just like the left and they both looked normal. 

I said, “hmmm, it looks okay to me”.  He went to his favorite standby since the age of 8….

“It must just be puberty”.

Yes, I say, must be. 

Poor guy’s been going through puberty forever.

How Long Do I Have To Keep Being Unselfish?

18 Apr

Since Saturday, I’ve taken a vow of silence to show everyone how serious I am about…. about recycling paper products?!  Not really.  I’ve been lazy so I haven’t posted.  Matter of fact, in my world, I’m very loud. No “vows of silence” for this girl.   Others WISH I’d take time for silence.  Touch luck, Everyone!

I’m still marathon training.  I’m following Hal Higdon’s recommendations.  I’m doing it on my own.  I don’t carry water or GU when I train.  Foolish.  This I know.  It’s been tough.  I’m not enjoying it at all.  I cannot stress that enough.  WTH was I thinking signing up for another frickin’ marathon?  I ask myself this daily.

I was sloppy this last weekend because I was hanging with my daughter at her college apartment.  I chowed.  I laid around, we shopped and we laughed a lot.  The only I didn’t do was work out.  We talked about it but then quickly forgot about it.  We rented the movie, My Week With Marilyn.  Loved it!  Michelle Williams was spot on.  I now want to watch all of Marilyn Monroe’s movies.  She was a dizzy airhead but she was perfectly beautiful.

Runs this week:

Sunday – ran 7.13 miles with an average mile/minute of 8:53 (slower than normal for a very good reason)

Tuesday – ran 14.40 miles with an average mile/minute of 8:22

Today – ran 8.05 miles with an average mile/minute of 8:25 (wore my Vibram 5Fingers)

After my run today.

Sunday was so awful.  I got home that afternoon from hanging with The Who (daughter).  Mick made chicken on the grill.  I, in usual form, ate way more than I should have.  I ran shortly thereafter with a ton of nausea.  It was awful. My runs are partly in the country and partly in the city.  I kept hoping I could keep it in till I got somewhere without being seen.  After a couple of close calls, I made it home and I kept everything down.  Stupid.  I do a lot of stupid things.  My blog should be called, “Stupid Shelly in Michigan”.  Hmmmm….

So, I got my hair colored last week.  Kelly, who colored my hair, warned me that the color would fade and wash out.  She said it’d wash out faster if I used regular shampoo. She told me to wash it was cold water (freeze my ass off in the shower — ummm. I think not).  So, I know the color would fade.  I still hate that.  What I also hate is not washing my hair.  I want it to smell like shampoo at all times…..not sweat.  Gross.  I’m thinking I can do the washing my hair every three days for maybe another week.  At that point, I’ll break down and wash it too much.  I’ll then make an appointment for a heavy highlight and color stripper.  I just wish it didn’t fade.  Pictures don’t do it justice.  So many colors.  So asymmetrical.  I love it.

Okay so I have to vent again.  Mick and I signed both our boys up for premiere soccer.  It’s expensive and we have to drive their little butts all over the place (sometimes out of state).  This weekend, Bruce has a tournament two hours away.  It wouldn’t be horrible but I don’t feel like driving eight hours (Sat and Sun).  Plus, the games on Saturday are crappily timed — noon and 9:20pm at night.  What the heck would we do with all that downtime?  I’d say shop but I can’t spend  $$ and Brucee would never go for that sh*t.  I looked for a hotel and found one with free breakfast and wi-fi (score!!).  Plus, the room comes with a jacuzzi.  I was all excited until I realized jacuzzi is a bathtub that blows bubbles.  Stupid.  I know I won’t run outside because it’s in “scarytown” Detroit.  Another unselfish weekend.  How many more of these can a girl take?

I really like my social media sites.  Today, on Facebook, I saw that Lori, a local pharmacist and neighborhood friend from my youth, said:

I delivered a prescription today to an elderly lady who lives in a local senior citizen apartment complex. She asked how old I am. I told her that I will be 40 in November. She couldn’t believe that I’m that old (which was nice to hear). Anyway, she proceeded to tell me that when she was 40, she was a “sex machine.” She said that she chased her husband around the house back then because she couldn’t “get enough.” She and I were laughing so hard. I can’t believe she told me that!

I got a little panicky after reading it because, instantly, I thought that my grandma could have been the lady who told her this.

Such a sweet little ole lady, my grandma.

I commented on her FB post that I was hoping it wasn’t my grandma and Lori assured me it wasn’t.  Phew!

OMG!! Antique Vibrators?! Neato…

14 Apr

Antique Vibrator Museum: Grand Opening

Is the above what you think it is?  Yes, it’s an antique vibrator.  I had no idea they had vibrators in the olden days.  I mean, I’m not naive, I know they did things to pleasure themselves but I was thinking they were secretive and used things from home (rolling pin, cucumber…).

Now you’re probably wondering why I’m talking about vibrators.  It came out of left field, didn’t it?

I innocently stumbled upon the announcement of a museum’s opening in Cali because I was looking for fashion pictures to pin on Pinterest at Refinery 29’s website.  For reals!!!

Thank goodness, huh?  I would have missed out on this crazy, fun news.

The opening for the Antique Vibrator Museum was on April 12th so we missed it.  Dommit! No need to buy a plane ticket now.  I bet the free refreshments are all gone.
Antique Vibrator Museum: Grand Opening

Ugh.  Why do I live in Michigan?  I need to live in San Francisco (or Miami or NYC).  It’s gonna be a hot one today at 64 degrees. Not quite tube top, short shorts and stiletto weather.  Pooh!

So why do I live in Michigan?  Oh yes, ONLY because my beautiful family lives here.  I guess that’s pretty huge.  Until I can get them to go with me, the “mitten” is where I’ll stay.

I’m at college this weekend shackin’ up with my daughter.

I’m behaving.  I’m actually extremely lame.  I think we were in bed by 11:30 last night.

Boing!  I’m up by 7 though due to my internal clock.  The Who Girl likes her sleep though so I”m trying to leave her alone even though an iced coffee sounds deeeeelish.

Sleepy, sleep, sleep...

Yesterday we saw a couple of girls perform in their dance troupe at the local high school.  Thirty dances.  I thought my ass was flat before but it was super flat after sitting for that long.  Plus some silly (more like stupid ass) sorority girls were screaming in my ears at the beginning of some of the performances to get their friends revved up.  Nice for their friends, bad for my ears.  I wanted to kick their teeth in but I don’t have a confrontational bone in my body.  “So, take that, Shelly!!! And like it!”

Today’s day will involve shopping, sushi, a movie (Cabin In The Woods) and more food.  I’ll probably head home tonight.

Hope you have a lovely Saturday.


Just Behave…

12 Apr

I thought I’d challenge myself today by wearing 5 inch heels.

Black polka dot shoes and a yellow striped tank from Forever 21

Love this picture I found on Pinterest. I didn’t like cats until about 5 years ago. At that time, I decided we needed a cat and now we have four. They’re creepy but I love them so much. After cleaning their litter boxes (which is totally disgusting), they do look at me funny…..

I ran today. Yay me! At precisely 2:01pm, I ran 9.11 miles with an average mile/minute of 8:17. It was a cool 54 degrees so I wore shorts and t-shirt. No music. Matter of fact, I can’t remember the last time I listened to music while running. I just don’t feel safe with the distraction of music. I feel like someone’s going to run me over so I need to listen for oncoming cars. The life insurance’s paid to date so I don’t know who Mick could have called to run me over. I’m a pain in the butt to live with, people. Kidding…. (not about being a pain but for saying something bad about Mick)

NEWEST WANT — Okay, so I’ve always liked the look of the Toyota FJ Cruisers. I decided that I need to own one. It makes total sense to me. My daughter needs a new car so she can have my 2004 Ford Explorer. My son’s about to get his license so he can get her old car. This leaves me carless. So Mick!! Let me pick out a car. I want an FJ Cruiser. I don’t even care what color.

Ya still with me? Good. I needed to add again that I love Pinterest. I never knew what the big stinkin’ deal was so I waited forever to get on board. I thought it was for crafty people or girls who wanted to get married (next time I marry, I’m eloping). Now that I’ve been invited by the Pinterest folks to be a member (after a one week wait), I don’t have time for any of my responsibilities. I’m so damn busy with my social media sites. Ridonkulous!! Check out what I’m into. I’m under “Shelly in MI”. Big surprise that I chose that name, huh?

Tomorrow will hopefully be a fun day. I’m getting my blonde hair colored copper-y brown and I’m driving up to visit my daughter at her college. We’re going to go see her schoolmate dance. It should be a ton of fun. I just need to remind myself, “I am not 21, I am not 21, I’m an old lady who cannot embarrass her daughter”. Behave Shelly!!!

If There’s A Pill, There’s A Way…

11 Apr

Today was my favorite day of the year.  I got to go to the doctor’s to get my annual woman appointment.  I’ll spare you all the gory details but I will tell you that I tried to get a prescription for ADD.  It wasn’t as easy as I thought it’d be.  My son has ADHD and thinking back, I think I’ve had it forever.  I think I would have been a much better student if I would have been diagnosed/treated back in my school age years.  I found out today that doctors are weird about prescribing ADD med because people abuse it (especially college students).  OMG, really!!  I need to jump through hoops to get it and I’m going to because I think it’ll help me at work.  I feel like such a dummy at work (never outside of work) and it needs to stop.  We’ll see.  Time will tell.

My son’s been treated for ADHD since he was in the 2nd grade (9 years approx.).  I am proud to say that I’ve never been tempted to try his medicine.  Not even when I saw Lynette Scavo do it on Desperate Housewives.  I’m a rule follower to a tee so it never crossed my mind.  Honest Abe.

On my way out, the receptionist who needs chapstick in the worst way (she always has nasty, chapped, split lips), asked about my nails.

She asked if there was any rhyme or reason to why I painted them the way I did. HUH?!  I looked at her like, “Are you serious”?  Look at me.  I have purple/pink/orange peek-a-boo color in my hair.

3 peek-a-boo colors asymmetrically placed in the front of my head. The rest is still blonde.

I have very large, visible tattoos on my arms.  I dress like a goofus.  I’m CRYING FOR ATTENTION, WOMAN!! I told her I like weird stuff and I like to look weird and that seemed to settle her.  I left without offering her lip balm.  What?  She might have cooties.

I continued on to my car and texted everyone that I had my annual appointment and I needed to poop the whole time.  Just awful.  Awful that it happened and awful that I feel the need to confess to everyone.  Just like running, I think my problem could be attributed to my nerves.  I also told my mom to tell my Grandma that I weigh 127 pounds (without my combat boots) so my grandma needs to stop saying I’m too skinny.  Matter of fact, my grandma is the one who needs to gain weight.  So NAHHH!

My little sister told me I need to do something with my blog because she’s sick of checking it and seeing the picture of that girl and her poop.  She’s right.  It’s so gross so today’s post is only to get that girl’s poop from being the first thing you see when and if you’re looking to see if I’ve posted.

Have I been running?  Hell’s yes! I’ve been running but not posting.  I suck.  I’ve told you that before.  I’m a damn slacker.  I don’t have many pictures because everyone gives me shit when I try to take their picture or if I ask them to take mine.  I feel like pictures help make my posts more interesting.  As you can see above, I like to talk about stupid shit so pictures are a must.

Desperate Housewife

Okay, back to running.  Here’s what I’ve done since my last post:

Thursday, 4/5 – 7.08 miles (average mile/minute 8:14)

Saturday, 4/7 – 18 miles (walked a couple times and wanted to cry the last 5 miles) (average mile/minute 8:53)

Monday, 4/9 – 11.25 miles (average mile/minute 8:32)

Today, 4/10 – 9.79 miles (average mile/minute 8:22)

By the way, I’m still deciding on what I’m going to do but I may still color the rest of my hair copper-y brown like the picture below…

This is obviously not my hair but I love, love, love it!!! Don't you?