Bloody Hell!!

9 Jan

Where do I start?

Okay, so don’t hate on me because I went on a cruise.  If you read my silly blog, you knew it was coming.

My kids agreed to skip Christmas gifts in order to go on a Christmas cruise.  My plans to be out-of-town on Christmas day were foiled when I realized it wasn’t my original idea to cruise on Christmas day.  In turn, the cost to cruise during Christmas week was more than 3 x’s the cost we normally pay and being the cheap skate that I am, I didn’t want to give up the moolah.

I found a good price for the week starting New Year’s Day was as reasonable as it was going to get.  We cruised out of San Juan, Puerto Rico and stopped at five islands.  In the end, two other families booked the same cruise so it was fun, fun, fun for all.  Plus, we still got to hang out with our family during Christmas.  Best of both worlds, right?

The Southern Caribbean itinerary was San Juan, St Thomas, Day at sea, Barbados, St Kitts, St Lucia, St Maarten.

We always cruise Carnival because it’s the cheapest.  We always stuff the five of us in one room.  We figure it doesn’t matter anyways because you’re only supposed to be in your room to sleep so why get something fancy.  The only thing I insist on is that we have is a window because I’d go crazy being in a windowless room.  I need the sunshine to wake me up.

I ate a crapload of good food.  AND, because our friends are party animals, I drank more than I’ve ever drank in one week.  The weather was perfect.  All in all, I am happy.  Oh, and so was everyone else.

I got second place in a dance contest and our friend got first (he could do the “worm”).

On one of the beaches, the kids (who swam nonstop) were body surfing.  A dumb English woman thought it be smart to stand in the middle of where all of the kids were swimming.  Brucee accidentally splashed her and she yelled out “BLOODY HELL!”.  Brucee is the sweetest and he felt horrible.  Her crazy ass upset him so much that his eyes teared up.  I wish I would have gone out there where she was standing (in 4 foot of water in the middle of a bunch of kids) and splashed her while telling her to get her bloody ass out of the water but I let too much time pass and it was too late to say it effectively.

The only bummer was that we didn’t do any excursions which is unheard of from our past cruises.  We went to the frickin’ beach every stinkin’ day because that’s what the kiddies wanted to do.  I got quite the tan even though I covered myself in 30 and 50 spf all day long.

Hmm.  As I type this, my hands smell like the clementine oranges I ate hours ago.  Weird?!

Oh, I did run today.  I ran 9.22 miles with an average mile/minute of 8:25.

I did work out on the cruise but nowhere near what I had planned.  I worked out 4 of the days by getting up at between 6 and 8am.  I did 40-45 minutes on the treadmill and 30 minutes on the elliptical machine.  I didn’t run on the track on the top deck simply because I didn’t want to?!

I get horrible motion sickness (first cruise taught me that) so I have to wear the dumb little motion sickness sticker behind my ear.  That sticker works perfectly for me (and my daughter).  It’s been more than 36 hours since I’ve been on a moving boat and I’m still a little wibbly wobbly.  It always takes me a good three to four days to shake it off.

And no, I couldn’t find the glass bong shaped like a man with a huge erection.  I asked two shopkeepers but decided to stop asking as The Who Girl said it was inappropriate and that I was probably offending people.  What’s the big whoop?

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