Fart Smelling Burps

28 Dec
Today was the coldest day I’ve ever run outside.  The scary thing is that it will not be the coldest this winter so I need to mentally prepare myself.  I have a feeling I’ll be battling very low, uncomfortable temp’s in January and February.  Either way, it’s a pat on the back that at 10:40am, I ran 9.04 miles with an average mile/minute of 9:02.  9:02’s slow for me.  I’m trying to overlook it.  If I run at all, it’s a really good thing.
Now, when I say it was cold, I mean the temperature was 21 degrees (felt like 14).  I’m probably wimpy in most people’s eyes.  I always imagined that running in that temp would make it difficult to breathe.  Thankfully, I never felt like it hurt when drawing in air.  It was actually very refreshing.
I took care of my sad, pathetic, Charlie Brown Christmas tree today.  I took the ornaments off (should have left them on).  I left the lights on it and threw it in the utility room after throwing a garbage bag over it.  Good, easy livin’.
MY TEETH HURT!!  I hate whitening my teeth.  They’re sensitive and the gel sets my nerves off for the rest of the day.  I’m getting paranoid that my coffee obsession is going to wreck my teeth.  Time to dig out my teeth/dental trays.  My dentist made mine for me 10 or so years ago (before they sold whitening kits in the stores).  I filled them up with the bleaching gel (the gel’s less than a year old).  After a half hour,  rebrushed my teeth and the trays.  Viola!
By 4:30pm, my teeth were screaming.  I popped two ibuprofen with no relief.  I tell you, beauty can be so painful.  I think my body hates me for all the crap I’ve put it through.  I’ve punished myself with laser hair removal, tattoos, laser tattoo removal, waxing, piercings, branding and a few unmentionables.  I was kidding, Mom, I’ve never had branding done (but I wanted to back in the 90’s).
After working till 8pm, I met up with my daughter to see the movie, “The Descendants“.  I was starving.  Who Girl wasn’t starving because she met up with her friends for pedi’s and sushi.  She was sweet and brought me leftover sushi.  Before I knew she was bringing me the sushi, I had it all planned out that I was getting nachos, popcorn, and a big fat hot dog.  I would have burped hot dogs for the whole movie.  Who Girl, in turn, would lean over to me and ask me if I farted because those burps really stink.  In the end, Who Girl saved herself from smelling fart smelling burps.
The Descendants was sad.  I did like the way they kept saying the word, TWAT.  The word TWAT cracks… me… up.  I wish I could use it on a regular basis but that’d be frowned upon.

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