The Lake House…

20 Dec

I’m so glad that the stores I frequent haven’t figured out a way to mark me.  Like make me glow red when I enter their stores.  If I was them, I would want some type of warning.  No, I don’t shoplift (well, there was a Bubba Gum incident back when I was 7 but that’s for another day).  I think stores would want to be warned when I enter their stores because I’m a RETURNER….a MAJOR RETURNER.   I buy a shit-ton but I return a crapload too.  I don’t feel too bad about it because they still make a lot of $$ off me (or I should say, “off Mick”).

Today, returned a French Press  (bought two and kept one) to Macy’s and those horrible black shoes (post from December 10th) to JcPenney (I hate JcPenney so I should have known they sold devil shoes).  The shoes seriously murdered my feet (or, should I say, the 3rd toe on my right foot).

It’s such a relief after I’ve made a return.  It’s like I paid off my house or something (the feeling goes away quickly since that’s not realistic).

This morning, I hoped out of bed and threw on something comfy for work.

I love Hanes Men's v-neck t-shirts...

After work, I met up for lunch with my cousin, Sarah and my mom.   I adore Sarah.  She’s so cool and I could talk to her all day.  She probably just thinks I’m a goofball.

When we were little, her family would take me to their lake cottage.  I’m confused to this day as to why they did it since I was such a pain in the butt.  I wouldn’t have kept taking me if I was them.  I had a lot of fun when I went there so Sarah’s parents must have been weak to all my begging.  When I was about 16 and she was about 12, we were riding behind the boat on a banana boat tube.  All was well and we were laughing until we took a turn and we fell off.  Sarah had braces and she fell just so that her mouth/braces scraped the outside of my leg near my hip and caused a deep scrape.  I don’t know why I wouldn’t let it go but I kept yelling, “SARAH BIT ME IN THE BUTT!!”.  I thought it was funny but it really annoyed Sarah.  I think my aunt finally told me to stop saying it.

Another time they took me to their cottage, I rode the neighbor’s jet ski for over a half an hour.  I was about 16 (bad age, I guess) and I had a major crush on the 30-35 year old neighbor guys.  I thought I had skills on the jet ski and thought I could woo one of them (such a little Lolita…not really).  I looked like a total doink.  My aunt finally had to go the end of her dock and wave me in.  I’m so glad I didn’t get the guy — can you say statutory rape?  Gross.

COOKIES… Thanks to Deeg’s parents for making a bunch of great Christmas cookies for us because now I MUST find the recipe for the lemon/coconut/chocolate chip cookies.  I need a batch just for myself.


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